Waves, Sand and other Confessions

Here I am. Another place, another view, different feelings, another me. In the last year, there have been plenty of challenges, changes and unexpected experiences that have tailored the person that I am today.

When I was a kid I couldn’t resist being at the beach without going into the sea. A day in the sun without playing in the water was a lost day for me. I didn’t like to build sandcastles or play with the other kids. I didn’t care about the sunrise or the sunset, I didn’t care if I am tanned enough or if the sun is going to burn my skin. I wasn’t afraid of the waves. I loved them. I loved the feeling that I couldn’t touch the ground, because the water was too deep. I knew that if something happens, there will always be someone to help me.

I didn’t like to sleep at lunch. I felt it was a waste of time, instead of swimming in the warm water and jumping with the waves. I felt like I am losing precious moments.

Now things are different. I don’t really need to go into the sea. I still love it, but in another way. I like to observe what is happening around me. I like to watch the dance of the waves and to listen the sound of the sea. No headphones, no phone, no iPod just the waves. You have no idea how many things the sea has to tell you. It is amazing how you can hear your thoughts while in the background the waves are playing their eternal song, which seems the same every time, but is always different. I have learned to think twice before jumping in deep waters. There will not always be someone to help you and the water could be too cold. There could be sharks or maybe just a wave that will drag you down.

Now I like to build castles, but not made of sand. I like to build castles of experiences and knowledge. I like to observe and learn from everything that is happening around me. It is interesting and sometimes scary to be in the same place several times and to see it with other eyes. You can notice things that you didn’t see before or realize that you don’t like it anymore.

“Here” is not only about locations. It is about us. Life changes us on the outside, but most importantly on the inside. Okay, maybe my hair is blonder than it used to be, maybe I gained, or I lost some weight. Maybe I am more tanned now, but the main difference is in my eyes. It is in the way I see myself and everything that surrounds me. I am looking in the sea mirror and I see another person. I feel different. I am more confident. I enjoy other things and I love more. I love the feeling of being about to step into a new life that you dreamed of, I love the feeling of exploring a new place, the feeling of not knowing what is going to happen, but you trust yourself that you can handle it successfully.

Now, I can see the beauty of every sunrise and sunset. Sometimes I find the sunrise so emotional, that it makes me cry. It reminds me that I am alive, that we should enjoy every moment of this life, every colour and every sunrise. It reminds me to be thankful for another great day. It reminds me that I should be grateful for every breath I take. You will never see something with the same eyes or from the same perspective. Everything is changing around you. You are changing.  Enjoy every second.

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