Where is home?

When I was a teenager I wanted so badly to grow up, to move on my own and to build up my life. I guess I wasn’t the only one in this situation (or at least I hope). I guess I didn’t feel time passing as I feel it right now. At that moment I didn’t know how to appreciate the value of everything that surrounded me. I couldn’t realize that this period of life will have an end.

What would you do if one day you will wake and one of your wishes will become reality? What would you do if life will give you the freedom to live in your own dream? Would you know how to enjoy it? Would you be happy?

Approximately one year ago I made the decision to study in Denmark. I settled my goal and I did my best to accomplish it. When I finally got the acceptance letter I was overwhelmed by emotions and full of happiness. I was proud. I reached my goal. Since then I started, of course, to count the days until I was leaving to Denmark. All I had in my mind was to go there and to live my dream in reality. I didn’t think about all the other changes that will come with this great step.

There have been exactly seven months since I came to Denmark. The first weeks were great I was absorbed by “living abroad” and I was trying to take as much as I could from Aalborg. Every morning I used to wake up before my alarm. I was excited to see what a new day was going to bring me.

After the first month I realized what this move actually was.

It wasn’t only a physical move from a country to another. It was also the change from an innocent teenager to a young adult. It was a totally new beginning for a totally new life.

I realized that family, friends, they all had their own lives and I wasn’t part of it as much as I used to be before. I felt lost. I didn’t know where I belong to anymore. For the first time in my life I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t have a new target. How can I build a career? Where do I want to go? Do I want to stay? Where is my home? A wide variety of questions appeared in my mind. And guess what?! I did not have an answer at that moment.

Time was passing, and those questions were still in my mind. When I went back to Romania for the Christmas holiday I had another shock. I entered in my old room and I couldn’t find myself there anymore. I felt like I was in a stranger’s room. At the beginning I couldn’t even put my clothes from the suitcase into the wardrobe. I felt like I am going to disturb someone else’s place. I felt lost again. My home was somewhere between Denmark and Romania. I went to the same places where I used to spend time with my friends. I was trying to go back in time, to relive a vanished period of my life. But I couldn’t. Everything was changed. The streets were more crowded. Our favourite place was totally redesigned. My friends were different too. Their appearance, our discussions were totally unlike as they used to be. I couldn’t see them as I did once. Maybe I was another person as well.

They say that “home is where yours heart is”. But what if you leave a piece of your heart everywhere you go? After a period, I realized that all of these experiences are part of the growing up process. Even if I have chosen to study in Romania, Denmark, The United Kingdom or any other country or I would have taken a gap year, the process would have been the same. There comes a time when every teen becomes adult.

Therefore, if you have ever felt this don’t be scared. It is okay. Just take a deep breath. I have been there. And I moved on. So, you can do the same. Even though it seems rough it is a normal process, part of everyone’s life.

In this stage of life, you have to become responsible for your own decisions and mistakes. I have learned that from now on I am the only one in charge for my own life.

I was told that there will come a time when I have to “fly from my parents’ nest”. But at that time, I was too scared to accept it.

However, now, after seven months I have the answer to all the questions above. My heart is in Denmark and in everything I learn, and I create. I am home!

Screen Shot 2018-06-20 at 00.45.47

One comment

  1. Never being the one or the other becomes more difficult as time progresses. What I was before, what I consider myself to be today, and who those two people are in reality are issues without any concrete answers. If language is identity, then you’ll probably lose a bit of yourself as you learn another language, learn about another culture. Never quite the same anymore, but becoming something different, a hybrid of the two. Enjoy your journey. I have learned to appreciate mine.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: